Ohio2006 Blog

News, analysis, and comments on Ohio elections.

Sunday, December 3

BREAKING: Yellow Dog Sammy Will Not Seek Presidency

Today's shocking announcement that former U.S. Senator Tom Daschle (D-SD) will not run for president in 2008 had political pundits scrambling to identify equally-credible alternative candidates, including noted Ohio political blogger Yellow Dog Sammy. While Sammy has not actually formed an exploratory committee or met with political operatives in Iowa or New Hampshire, he is known to have personal friends in those states and to be fond of both corn-on-the-cob and maple syrup (although not served together).

However, the reclusive blogger squashed all such speculation by issuing this statement late today:
After intensive consultation with my advisors, my spouse, and my inner canine, I have reluctantly concluded that I can best serve the nation by continuing to publish my blog about Ohio politics. Let me be perfectly clear: If nominated, I will not accept; if drafted, I will not run; if elected, I would completely redecorate the Oval Office in sage and neutral earth tones. I hate that dark-blue-and-gold-with-crimson-accents color scheme.
Political insiders speculate that Sammy may be angling for the vice presidential nomination, or may simply be attempting to provoke a popular draft-Yellow Dog Sammy movement.

Additional coverage on similarly viable presidential candidates may be found on this and other political blogs, and throughout the cable news channels.

4 Comments:

At 6:20 PM, Blogger David said...

Wow, just wow.

 
At 7:43 PM, Blogger Tim Ferris said...

we're crushed and disheartened, Sammy, so please reconsider...

 
At 10:03 PM, Blogger redhorse said...

Have you tried corn on the cob and maple syrup together? You should before you knock it.

Otherwise, I dismiss your refusal to serve as the Democratic nominee as the mere perfunctory disavowal before you acceptance.

Should we start working on that speech?

(btw, brilliant post)

 
At 3:28 PM, Anonymous Todd Hoffman said...

The Ohio Democratic Party expresses its regret that political blogger
Yellow Dog Sammy has decided not to run for President in 2008. We would
like to thank Yellow Dog Sammy for his years of service and dedication
to the state of Ohio.

Yellow Dog Sammy has been a great asset to the Ohio Democratic Party. He
has spent his career sniffing out corruption, chasing down fraud, and
growling at the competition.

We will miss you at the debates.

Thanks,
Todd Hoffman

 

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