BREAKING: Yellow Dog Sammy Will Not Seek Presidency
Today's shocking announcement that former U.S. Senator Tom Daschle (D-SD) will not run for president in 2008 had political pundits scrambling to identify equally-credible alternative candidates, including noted Ohio political blogger Yellow Dog Sammy. While Sammy has not actually formed an exploratory committee or met with political operatives in Iowa or New Hampshire, he is known to have personal friends in those states and to be fond of both corn-on-the-cob and maple syrup (although not served together).
However, the reclusive blogger squashed all such speculation by issuing this statement late today:
After intensive consultation with my advisors, my spouse, and my inner canine, I have reluctantly concluded that I can best serve the nation by continuing to publish my blog about Ohio politics. Let me be perfectly clear: If nominated, I will not accept; if drafted, I will not run; if elected, I would completely redecorate the Oval Office in sage and neutral earth tones. I hate that dark-blue-and-gold-with-crimson-accents color scheme.Political insiders speculate that Sammy may be angling for the vice presidential nomination, or may simply be attempting to provoke a popular draft-Yellow Dog Sammy movement.
Additional coverage on similarly viable presidential candidates may be found on this and other political blogs, and throughout the cable news channels.