Cong. OH-2: Top Five Reasons Why Cheney Snubbed Schmidt (R)

This is hilarious. The Cincinnati Enquirer notes today that “usually, when Vice President Cheney comes to Cincinnati for a Republican fundraiser, his motorcade beelines to the deep-pockets city of Indian Hill,” but not this time. Cheney will raise funds for Rep. Steve Chabot (R-Cincinnati) on the west side of Cincinnati tonight, but "doesn’t have time in his schedule" for embattled incumbent Rep. Jean Schmidt (R-Loveland).

Why not? Campaign aides for opponent Dr. Victoria Wulsin (D-Indian Hill) have come up with their Top Five Reasons Dick Cheney Said “No” to an Event with Jean Schmidt, and they want to know if anyone can top these:

5. Because Schmidt campaign manger Barry Bennett asked “Who’d show up, anyway?”

4. Because Cheney is too busy training for a marathon.

3. Because Cheney is embarrassed that Schmidt’s 33% approval rating is a full 15 percentage points higher than his.

2. Because Cheney is angry that Schmidt has only rubber-stamped the Bush Administration’s policy 87% of the time.

1. Because the Schmidt campaign’s “reckless disregard for the truth” clashes with Cheney’s preference for calculated, thoughtful disregard for the truth.

Any offerings?